About This Episode - 

In part three of our three part series, Jeff Kemp lays out the "Blueprint for Manhood" found in the Playbook for Life and how Jesus is the ultimate example of what it means to be a man and to be a friend.

Jeff is the author of Facing the Blitz: Three Strategies for Turning Trials Into Triumphs and Receive: The Way of Jesus for Men (releasing November 1st). He is the leader of Jeff Kemp Team and helps churches and organizations build a team ready to fulfill their God-given potential.

To find out more about IMPACT Players, visit www.impactplayers.org.

Listen: Apple | Spotify | Google

Transcript -

Warren Mainard: Jeff, I wanna talk about one more thing before we go, and that's around this idea of what does it mean to be a man? You know, I think a lot of young men, but let's face it, even guys our own age today are asking the question, what does it mean to be a man? Is there a blueprint for masculinity in 2023 that is not considered toxic, that is not effeminate, but it's a true picture of what men were meant to be. Created to be. Inspired to be. Destined to be. How do you kind of lift men to understand what that looks like?

Jeff Kemp: Well, you know, you don't have to go to Sylvester Stallone or Joe Rogan or some special book or some dude's podcast to figure out. Everyone's got a niche, right? And those things...

Warren Mainard: Yeah.

Jeff Kemp: ... different images, different styles, different personalities. There's one place that will fit with your personality and your wiring and your background. That'll be masculine and be a man and live out your intent to make a good difference in the world. And that is the blueprint of Jesus. The way he lived manhood. And I, when COVID shut down all my speaking, and I came home, my wife said, "Hey, this is good. You could finally finish that book. And I'm lonely 'cause you've been speaking too much and we can start playing tennis again."

Warren Mainard: Yeah.

Jeff Kemp: "You don't mind? I won't make any money and I won't be speaking at all." She said, "No. No, you've been too busy." I started reading everything in the Bible in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John about Jesus. And I found 221 traits of how he lived as a man. They're not for one culture or one era. They're times he's a man for all seasons. Jesus was humble, First and foremost, He was a son of the Father. He was on mission. His mission was to make life better for others. He dignified women. He protected women. He rallied men. Friend. He loved friendship man. He gave fishing advice and the guy's caught 153 fish. Showed up at the beach and cooked some fish and had breakfast with Peter after Peter denied him three times. He wasn't afraid to show his weaknesses. Thomas, you doubt who I am? Stick your fingers in this hole in my hand, wound in my side. Go ahead and test it out. He brought Peter, James and John into the garden to pray with him the night that he was sweating drops of blood, anticipating dying on the cross the next day. He was a brother. He brought those same three dudes, his three closest friends, up on the Mount of Transfiguration and they heard God say, "This is my Son, my beloved Son, and whom I'm well pleased. The chosen one, listen to him." Did you hear him receive his identity in front of his buddies? Jesus was, was a brother. He was a friend. He built the men. He took him on adventures. They fed 5,000 together. He sent 'em out on the lake and they almost died. And he walked in the water to save him. And he said, "Peter, come on. You can walk in the water if you focus on me." And he did for the two seconds, he focused on Jesus. And then he started sinking when he focused on the storm. This man was pure in motives, strong for others, not for himself. He led it to his father all the time, you know. He was purposeful, he was missional. If this applies to being a friend, it'll make you a loyal, good friend that will bring out the best, not just entertain your friends. If you're dating a girl and you've been dating her for six years and you're having sex and living together, but hesitant to get married, you'll stop taking what isn't yours. You'll just cherish her and honor her. And whether she really understands it or not, you'll rebuild trust by saying, "We're not even gonna sleep together again till we marry. I wanna love you and get good at loving you for the rest of our life. And I want kids to be blessed." You'll choose to marry her. If you're a husband, you'll start worrying about your wife's feelings, not yours and you'll apologize first. You'll be the one saying, "Let's go on a date." You'll be the one saying, "Hey babe, how was your day? Let's talk about it." Because your strength is creating great relationships. That's your goal. If you're a dad, you are gonna build up your son or daughter's confidence, but with their character, not their performance.

Warren Mainard: Yeah.

Jeff Kemp: With their character, with their faith. And you're not gonna frustrate them, 'cause it's not about you. If they lose their game, if they don't get into the college, and if they don't impress people, it's not about you.

Warren Mainard: Right.

Jeff Kemp: You're an investor in them. Jesus invested in us, we consume from one another. A little boy consumes, a man invests. All that comes blueprint of Jesus. So, I think maybe one thing to take away is live as a son, getting your identity and your confidence and your strength from God the Father. Get his guidance. Don't do stuff till he gives you peace on it. And secondly, act like an investor in every relationship. Long term view, sacrifice something for now. Do what's best for them. You know, quarterbacks invest in the wide receivers and throw the ball to a one foot diameter of accuracy, even though they're gonna get hit in the jaw. They wanna make the easy for the receiver.

Warren Mainard: Right.

Jeff Kemp: And the receiver, they're taught, if you can touch it, you must catch it. Get blown up, I'll miss six games, but we need this first down and I'm gonna catch that pass for the QB. It's all for one and one for all. It's serving the other. It's investing in the other. It's investing in relationships. If you become an investor in relationships, you'll be a stud leader at your company, a stud employee at your company, a great husband and a great dad or grandpa and a great friend. Be an investor using the relationship of being a son of the father who gives you the strength to do it. That's manhood. Being like Jesus.

Warren Mainard: Well, Jeff, you said it better than I could have ever imagined trying to say it. And I wonder if there is any guy that's listening to this podcast or watching this video right now, if you were just to give him one word or one, you know, kind of brief invitation to...

Jeff Kemp: Me? Brief? Come on, Warren.

Warren Mainard: ...to say, "Hey, how do I get to know this Jesus that you're talking about?" What would you tell 'em?

Jeff Kemp: First of all I'd say, the enemy of God and Jesus does a great marketing effort to paint the wrong picture of him. And church isn't a bad thing, but churches are imperfect 'cause they're made up of imperfect people and power corrupts even in churches, right?

Warren Mainard: Yeah.

Jeff Kemp: So first of all, scrap all your past preconceptions about who Jesus is, who Father God is. Christianity. Don't deal with it - "Christianity" the concept. Say God, clean the palate, cleanse the... I wanna start fresh. I want to find out who you are. If you're real, what you're like. Show me what you're like, God. If that's the quest of your heart, he's gonna start doing things. He'll introduce you to people. You might listen to a podcast and like it. You might go to listen to a sermon. You might show up at church. You might just open the Bible and start reading saying, God, what do you wanna say to me in here? So I would say give God a clean slate and let him defend himself to you and fundamentally come with a posture of a son who needs to be forgiven and adopted back into the family. And then find out how much he loves you and that he's not frowning at you. He is not scolding you. Jesus took the penalty for all that stuff. Read about Jesus and read about the Father. I'd read the book of John. Jesus preaches ton in the book of John. Okay, I'd read the book of John like crazy. Obviously, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John all tell the same story from different angles. John does it fabulously. You may also take a look at the book of Colossians. And the whole chapter eight of Romans. But at the end of the day, basically come to God and say, if you're real, prove yourself to me. Show yourself to me. I won't preconceive or assume anything about you. I'm gonna get rid of all those thoughts that the culture's planted in my head. All that counterfeit stuff that your enemy has said. I'm not gonna hold what, you know, the Catholic Church or this Baptist minister or this evangelist has done, or some Christian friend who let me down. I'm not gonna hold that against you. I'm gonna go to the source.

Warren Mainard: That's a great word.

Jeff Kemp: That's His Son.

Warren Mainard: Well, hey Jeff, as we wrap this up, we've got 600 men on the active roster for IMPACT Players. We're getting ready to launch our kickoff of the IMPACT season, which runs from October to May. We do eight breakfasts, one per month during the season. You're our kickoff speaker. October 12th, 2023 at SAMBICA. Tell the guys that may be listening to this podcast or watching this video, why they need to be a part of the kickoff of the IMPACT season with you speaking at that event.

Jeff Kemp: Well, not 'cause of me, but because a man wasn't met and can't get anything done alone. You're not a lone ranger. You need friends. You deserve friends. God wants you to have friends. There's a characteristic of friends that we'll talk about. And the really deep level five friends that'll make you a better man that you can laugh with, you can cry with, you can be a better man with. That's what we'll talk about there and IMPACT is all about that. You guys hold these breakfasts, but after that, you urge guys to go out and be friends. Hang out with each other. You have some groups where they practice this type of friendship. So they're gonna meet some great guys. They'll get invited to hang out in a cool group, but even if they just take the message and go figure out who their own friends are and how to be more intentional with it, it's gonna change their lives. It'll change your marriage if you're married. It'll change your leadership in business and that shame over being abused as a child. Or maybe there's an abortion in your past with a girlfriend, maybe your addiction to alcohol as your go-to, or porn, or your insecurity. Or you've been fired twice and you feel crappy about yourself. God will heal that. When you come and hear what he really says about you, and you start having friends who accept you, not for what you've done lately, but for who you are. That's the power of level five friendship. Bring a friend. Come on the 12th of October. Meet me at IMPACT and let's start living like a team with dudes who have friends. That's how it was meant to be.

Warren Mainard: Guys, take this challenge. Invest in the man that you want to be. Invest in the husband that you wanna be. the father that you want to be, the leader that you want to be, so that you can make a difference in every relationship in your life. It's not selfish to invest in your growth in these areas. So get to the breakfast, it's there for you. Invite friends and let's make this the best kickoff to a season that we've ever been a part of. Jeff, thank you so much for being a part of this podcast. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with these guys. We look forward to you being a part of the breakfast on October 12th. We're excited that all of the guys that come to the breakfast are gonna get a copy of your brand new book "Receive." And, there's so much that they're gonna be blessed with through that book. So guys, go to impactplayers.org, sign up today and we'll see you then. Jeff. Thanks again.

Jeff Kemp: Hey, my pleasure. Keep rolling.