“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” - Walden by Henry David Thoreau

When Thoreau wrote these stark words in his classic work Walden, he could have never imagined the state that men find themselves in today. Despite greater emphasis and access to mental health resources, connectivity, and knowledge, men across the board are struggling, and the mounting research is staggering. Consider the following ways the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.

Loneliness and Isolation: According to a study published in the American Journal of Men's Health, men are more likely than women to report feeling lonely, with 35% of men in the United States experiencing loneliness. The US Surgeon General recently declared loneliness a public health crisis. Men have been identified as the loneliest segment in our culture today. This lack of social connectedness comes with a 50 percent risk of a shortened lifespan; the report went as far as stating that the health risks of loneliness were as severe as those of obesity or smoking 15 cigarettes a day. According to an American Survey report, men have fewer social ties overall than they used to, with only 27% of men in 2021 saying they had at least six close friends’ compared to 55% in 1990.

Signs of Chronic Loneliness: According to a Cigna study, over 63% of men now experience Chronic Loneliness.

• Inability to connect with others on a deeper, more intimate level.
• Many acquaintances but no “close” friends.
• Feelings that no one “gets” you.
• Overwhelming feelings of isolation even when surrounded by a large group of people.
• Negative feelings of self-doubt and self-worth.

Mental Health and Suicide: The American Psychological Association reports men are less likely than women to seek help for mental health issues, leading to higher rates of undiagnosed depression and other mental illnesses. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, men die by suicide at a rate four times higher than women, with middle-aged men being particularly at risk. According to the World Health Organization, suicide is the second leading cause of death among young men aged 15-29 globally. In the last 10 years we have seen a 35% increase of men dying from drug related deaths.

Where Do We Go from Here? Most people today need little convincing that men are struggling. The greater question is - What do we do about it? While there are many layers to this answer, one solution is obvious… men need more friends. Not the shallow, superficial, social media style friendships that draw likes, but a deep band of brothers whom men can share their greatest battles with. IMPACT Players is committed to helping men grow deep friendships with other men who are pursuing similar goals to be great husbands, fathers, and leaders. If you are a man longing for this kind of kinship, we invite you to take a step to get involved.

Finding Your Band of Brothers: Forging Deep Friendships in a Shallow World is a new IMPACT Cohort study for men who want to grow as husbands, fathers, and leaders. If you are a man who believes that forging deep friendships is important, we encourage you to join or start an IMPACT Cohort and participate in this 7 week study. Take action here.